:))
Femme

Jeannette - First existed on 24th January 1984 in singapore. Has a family of 6 inclusive of coffee, maomee and dearx2. Loves to hate and Hates to love. currently into my third job since graduation, BUT enjoying every min of it..

true to an extent, be WARNED beforehand, "I may be nice but there's a limit to everything.."


Desires2007

-HK Trip with dearX2
-NDSL
-Hair Treatment
-Macbook


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    Thursday, May 26, 2005



    Shut up!

    I've been reading a certain few people's blog without them knowing. Sometimes i wonder why ppl can talk bout me when they don't even know me. Do you?

    1stly, all the things i do all have reasons behind them.

    2ndly, if any of my friends know me better they wouldn't use certain words to describe me or the things i do. Argh!

    3rdly, no one can be like me coz no one can go thru what i had to go thru since 9yo. You think your life is terrible? That no one cares? That everyone is against you? Think again.

    Fallen leaves return to their roots (Luo ye gui gen)

    I'm back where i started. Home..after wandering for so long. Rest..something which i may find. Friend..whom i had never lost. I'll be whole again when everyone returns.

    A long time ago.....

    I heard you were leaving. Wanting to send you off but didn't dare go. What if i was not welcomed? I didn't want you to leave for another country with any unhappy feelings. But yet again..i've been wondering..did you hope tt i went? Now tt you're returning. I wish i could muster enough courage to face you again. Back then, i said some stuff out of anger and i couldn't take it back. I'm sorry for failling to the test of time as your friend back then. Will we be the same? So many questions but i dare not look for the answer. If i don't look for the answer, will you give them to me?


    -iWrote 5/26/2005 11:51:00 AM

    Friday, May 06, 2005



    Sweet Startings

    People tend to forget their sweet startings with others quite a many times or rather most of the time. Then again, i think it's all the time. How many of you can actually put up your hand and say that what i'm doing with this new partner is different from what i did previously? If all the sweet startings are the same, then surely there will be promises made. One such cliche promise is..'i love you and you will be my past, present and future' or something along that line.

    Not true? Then tell me. Which relationship doesn't start with all or a combination of the things i'm going to state below.
    • Calling each other in the morning and at night and maybe even before the other person goes to bed. Or talking till the other is sleepy.
    • The feeling of excitment when you get his/her call or plan an outing together.
    • The food that taste oh-so-great.
    • The sweet sweet love that you make together followed by lovely kisses and gazes into each others eyes.
    • The photos that captures all the happiness.
    • The meals that contain so much bliss.
    • The strolls and walks that are so enjoyable whether or not there are plans to walk to anywhere.
    • The lazy afternoon naps taken after a meal or making out.
    • The enjoyment of having each other in each other's arms.
    • The sense of happiness from just looking at him/her.
    • The long sensual kisses.
    • The beautiful mornings that one wakes up to with/without him/her lying beside you.
    • The sense of bliss of being one even if nothing is spoken as both sit or lay together.
    • The blissful feeling of having someone love you back.
    • The enjoyment of drinking together, watching a play/theather/listening to live music. Even if the drinks and entertainment were not very good, it's still alright coz she's there beside you and nothing really matters.
    • The simplicity of everything
    • The laughter and smiles that comes from these events.

    This is what being in love is about. But can one be in love forever? Can one keep up with all these forever? I can. I kept it going and kept falling in love with one over and over again. 1st time, for 1 1/2yrs and i gave up. 2nd time, for 2+yrs but she gave up. Tho i can't say that i love them both the same but i can say that i loved them for who they were. I saw the beauty in their flaws but when it all ends, it ends too. Just like a beautiful sculpture with cracks, no matter how fine, it'll no longer be as beautiful. Thus the beauty in the flaws will have flaws of its own.

    When it comes to relationships, it's all about trust. Of course there are times of insecurity but it must pass. If one keeps feeling insecure then one has to ask oneself if one trust the partner enough or does one have enough confidence. Which answer isn't important. Either one, you're not ready for a relationship. Being insecure whenever a certain person is being mentioned or a certain thing is being done will tire out your partner. How long can one hold out if one has a partner who's constantly insecure? I personally trust my partners and i always let them know that their fears will always be uncalled for. In turn i will gain their total trust.

    I remember this line from a certain song. 'What if i'm a mermaid in this jeans of his with her name still on it?' What if one day you realise that all she had done was done before with another. What if one day you realise that all you want is the feeling of falling in love? Yes, of course who wouldn't enjoy such feelings but nothing in a relationship will ever stay simple forever. The longer the relationship, the more the problems. It's how people handle it. If one gets tired trying and sloving problems together, then it's the start to communication breakdown. The rest of it i don't think i need to say more.

    Tonnes of people can say that they will walk away from failed relationships just as easy as they got into one. But even the most seasoned person with countless relationships can't do that. Lest say people who do not get into relationships one after another.

    Many think that an ex is just an ex. I don't believe so. Especially if they had a long running relationship. Such relationships pull in alot of other factors and one will never know the power she has in her hands. Therefore i always believe that i would very much like my partner's ex acknowledge me no matter what. Unless of course they are no longer friends. My English teacher once said to the class. If it can be imagined, it can be written. If it can be written, it can happen. All of us watch the tele. So i believe that there is truth in some of the things you watch. Who says lessons in life can never be learnt in class? It's just how you look at it and absorb it.

    When one refuse to see that they had broken the simplest rule of a relationship, one is in denial. A relationship is to be respected by one and all. Rules of course is set by people. But the rules i set allows one and all to walk with their heads up. I had broken my own rules before. And during that period of time, i couldn't even face myself. Maybe a part of me is a perfectionist but just think, if one does things that others cannot point fingers at you and gossip about you, wouldn't that command respect from others?

    Guess in this world, it all boils down to respect. If everyone had respect for everyone, i guess the Miss Universe wouldn't have to keep saying world peace. Then again, there wouldn't be any need for them anymore coz everyone will be at peace. Peace comes from respect which will in turn eliminate all poverty and hunger........Ok..i'm thinking too much today.

    Note to all: this entry is rewritten. Do pardon if it's not gd. i like the previous one better. =P



    -iWrote 5/06/2005 05:01:00 PM

    Sunday, May 01, 2005



    Reality

    Shocking Red
    Harsh reality may be
    In streaks of
    Darkened souls
    Prayed deliverance from such
    As we may want
    Yet hungry spirits
    Claws at fault
    We seek in vain
    The happiness
    That some
    So blessed in their lives
    Been given
    Yet fail to recall
    How mother told
    The tale of life
    In itself
    The cynism we face
    By day
    And weariness we see
    By night
    Examples as such
    Some choose to ignore
    For wanting they
    Not of light
    Except bliss in
    Cold lonesome darkness
    By which time follows...
    The illusions they weave
    In and out of threads
    Of flawless beauty we see
    Yet seeing is one
    And reality is another
    The cold harsh facts
    Some face
    Like waking up by
    A smack on the face
    I am now forced to see,
    Of how the jesters dance
    And play
    To hide life's irony
    Life is not a bed of roses
    Yet we stubbornly refuse to see
    On how these choices we must pay
    In cold plain misery.


    -iWrote 5/01/2005 02:20:00 PM